Watch NYSCDM President Mark Josephson explain how divorce mediation can help couples communicate better, work through challenging financial issues and enable them to develop equitable divorce agreements while maintaining greater control over their futures. Click here to watch Mark’s interview with Jesse Jackson on LookTV.
By now everyone has probably heard the tale of the frog placed in the pot of water and set on the stove. Gradually the heat is turned up. The frog makes no attempt to get out of the pot. Because the temperature increases gradually, the frog doesn’t notice and thinks it is normal.
Relationships can be a lot like that. Sometimes, we start out happy, then gradually things deteriorate. As it happens slowly, over a period of time, we fail to notice the impact it is having on our mental and physical health. If we do experience discomfort from time to time we may excuse it away… this happens to everyone, it’s normal.
So, what’s the difference between normal and abusive? Read the rest of Renee’s article to better understand relationship dynamics and how to get help if you need it.
We all tend to adapt a story in retelling it. It’s mostly small points, but sometimes people who may have lived through the event with us will notice that some liberties have been taken.
It doesn’t mean that the embellishment is done to purposely avoid the truth. It could be:
– How we actually recall the event;
– Our “version” makes an amusing story more amusing; or,
– It puts us in a more flattering light.
And in most cases, it really doesn’t matter. We’re just telling stories to friends and family, and we’re not being held to a high standard of truth.
But does it matter when our clients each have a very different version of the same event?
As a mediator, it doesn’t matter to me because we are not in mediation to make a determination as to the truth or fiction of past events as told by the parties. I explain to clients that we’re there to help them resolve their futures, and that I’m not a judge or jury who is going to render a decision as to who is telling the truth.
Read the rest of Clare’s article to learn how mediators help couples resolve their futures.
Couples often get the idea that they can save a lot of money during the mediation process if they write their own agreement, bring in the spreadsheet, and say, “Here, write this.” Experience has taught me that it usually takes longer to create the agreement this way than starting from scratch.
Couples haven’t gone through a divorce before, so they don’t understand about:
- Property rights;
- The timing and how to transfer property;
- What kind and who is going to pay expenses until the property is transferred; and
- Numerous other parts of equitable distribution.
Read the rest of Don’s article to learn how working with a divorce mediator first can help couples develop a better settlement agreement.
Part 2 – The 5 Questions to Ask Yourself
So, back to the scenario I described in my previous article:
Your soon-to-be ex is pushing for the children to meet his new significant other, Sally* – as soon as possible. You are outraged at his temerity in bringing this up while you are still reeling from the revelation of your impending separation. You can’t believe this is such a sticking point for him, AND he wants your answer right away.
Read the rest of Ada’s article to learn the five questions to ask yourself when deciding how to handle this situation.
When I first meet with my clients, one thing that I almost always discuss is, at least for most couples, the challenge of finding a way to live separately on the same income that was hard to live on together! As part of that discussion, we then talk about the legal fees associated with a litigated versus a mediated divorce.
When I tell them that the cost for attorneys in a litigated divorce often exceeds $20,000 per person, I suspect many of them question my facts. But I have become aware of several instances recently that confirmed these figures. Read the rest of Dan’s article to learn more.