I often ask clients what they think their children understand about why they are living separately. What the parents say to the children may be far different from what the children actually hear and understand.
The Child’s View of Divorce
Imagine that your child is talking to his/her best friend about the divorce. What would you hear? Often it is something like: “My Mom and Dad don’t live together anymore because they fought all the time. They say everything will be OK, but it sure feels awful now.”
The Disruption of Having Two Homes Instead of One
Helping your children through the transition of living separately takes planning. It may take what feels like an Academy Award-winning performance by the parents to discuss plans with the kids. This is when you have to put your pain, grief, and mourning behind your children and not in front of them. You want to make sure that your words are coming through a filter of resiliency, not a filter of pain.
Read the rest of BJ’s article to learn helpful transitional strategies for you and your children.