Stocking the Larder

Ada Hasloecher

Ada Hasloecher

Before refrigeration was the rule of the day, most homes had a larder. A larder was a pantry, cupboard or cellar where food was stored, most of which was canned or preserved from the fresh foods of the season. This supply held families in good stead through the fallow season which often lasted from harvest to midsummer the following year. Stocking the larder was a family affair and one that each member took seriously.

I was reminded of this concept of “stocking the larder” during one particular mediation, although not quite in such drastic terms. But the idea that there may be a fallow season, once the separation of combined incomes and assets becomes a reality, may trigger uncharacteristic behavior in someone who, under normal circumstances, would behave quite rationally.

Read the rest of Ada’s article to learn how the mediation process helped this couple discuss their financial situation rationally and work things out together.

The Emotional Side of Divorce

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

As you are facing the possibility of a separation and/or divorce, a multitude of questions and very valid concerns will likely run through your mind:

Where will I live?
How will I survive financially?
How will I manage as a single parent?
How will my children get through this?
Will I lose my friends?
Will those friends take the other person’s side?
How will I function as a single person?
No one is going to take care of me now!

Read the rest of Jennifer’s article to learn practical ways to deal with these emotions while going through the turbulent and confusing transition of separation and divorce.

What if the CSSA Doesn’t Work for Us?

Clare Piro

Clare Piro

How does the Child Support Standards Act (“CSSA”) work in mediation? First, you will need to discuss whether or not you are going to apply or opt out of the CSSA.

To do that, you need to know what the child support figure would be if the statute were applied. Your mediator can explain the computation based upon the combined income of you and your spouse.

Read the rest of Claire’s article to learn if the CSSA will work for your family, or not.

 

6 Factors to Consider When Considering a Divorce

Daniel Burns

Daniel Burns

As I have said before, I believe that couples who are seeking a legal separation or a divorce do not have a legal problem; rather, I believe they have a practical problem that has legal implications.

The practical problem is often how to live separately on the same income that was previously supporting one household. The legal implications involve reaching an agreement that resolves this practical problem while satisfying the requirements of a legal system that may one day examine this agreement.

So how do they resolve this practical problem within the legal system?

Read the rest of Dan’s article to learn the 6 factors couples need to know when considering a separation or a divorce.

When a Mediator Levels the Playing Field, Is that Really Advocacy?

Don Sinkov

Don Sinkov

How often do mediation clients say: “We don’t want anything to do with lawyers. We know what they do in divorce cases. We don’t want any part of that.”

Unfortunately, the spouse that’s the most vocal about this is usually the one with the most money. The moneyed spouse doesn’t want anybody reviewing their Agreement. They usually have the financial savvy, where the other spouse doesn’t.

As mediators, we all know that sometimes we need to level the playing field. In other words, supply information to the spouse that doesn’t have as much financial savvy so that they’re both on equal footing. Of course, that never happens, because you can’t thoroughly educate somebody in the short amount of time we spend with them in mediation sessions.

Read the rest of Don’s article to learn how mediators try to level the playing field and remain neutral.

The Dog, Mediation and You

Ada Hasloecher

Ada Hasloecher

When it comes to pets, I take this very seriously with my couples. People often get quite emotional about them for all the reasons we pet owners know. The notion that one spouse has to leave his or her pet behind because they may be moving into a rental apartment or condo where pets are not permitted can be very upsetting. In many cases, more discourse centers around the family pet than around the division of household property (furniture, etc.) or even marital financial assets!

When your world is falling apart, the comfort that only your animal can give you – that unconditional love – can be everything. Read the rest of Ada’s article to learn how she helps couples develop plans for taking care of family pets after divorce.

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