The Dog, Mediation and You

Ada Hasloecher

Ada Hasloecher

When it comes to pets, I take this very seriously with my couples. People often get quite emotional about them for all the reasons we pet owners know. The notion that one spouse has to leave his or her pet behind because they may be moving into a rental apartment or condo where pets are not permitted can be very upsetting. In many cases, more discourse centers around the family pet than around the division of household property (furniture, etc.) or even marital financial assets!

When your world is falling apart, the comfort that only your animal can give you – that unconditional love – can be everything. Read the rest of Ada’s article to learn how she helps couples develop plans for taking care of family pets after divorce.

I am ready for divorce. Are you?

Jennifer Safian

Jennifer Safian

Sometimes I meet with couples where one spouse is ready to separate and move on while the other is still hoping for reconciliation. Here are some of the comments that often come up when they enter my office and are not yet in agreement about commencing a separation conversation.

Spouse #1: “My spouse wants to call it quits, but I feel that we have not given ourselves enough of a chance to work things out. I am not ready for a divorce.”

Spouse #2: “I am convinced that the best thing for our family is that we get a divorce, but my spouse keeps ignoring my request and snapping at me.”

Read the rest of Jennifer’s article to learn more about the rationales for each of these positions and how a neutral third-party can help such couples move forward.

Fear and Anger – Are They Kissing Cousins?

David Louis

David Louis

For many, the ending of a marriage is filled with a range of emotions that may be as broad as the menu at a good diner. In my divorce mediation and collaborative divorce practice, I observe this variety of feelings by one or both spouses.

Most often, I see fear and anger.

A typical client consultation will include this statement, “I/We have never done this (divorced) before.” For the unwilling spouse, whose world has been rocked, a lifetime commitment to a marriage is on the verge of dissolving. For both spouses, there is often an underlying current of uncertainty.

Read the rest of David’s article to learn how reducing uncertainty can reduce fear and anger.

Integrated Team Mediation: What Is It and How Can It Benefit You?

Susan Ingram

Susan Ingram

For family and divorce mediation to be done as effectively as possible, I believe an integrated team approach must be utilized. I use the term “Integrated Team Mediation” to describe this approach. So what do I mean by this?

First let me explain some basics: At the core of the team is the couple who has come to me to facilitate their discussions, and of course myself, their mediator/attorney. Sometimes a couple’s circumstances are quite straightforward, and they already have all the information they need to make their decisions. For instance, I’ve had couples who don’t have children, have a short-term marriage and have few resources to divvy up. In those instances, typically there is no need to bring in outside professionals.

More likely, though, the couple’s circumstances are not so simple. They may need the help of other professionals to work out serious issues with children, finances, businesses and more. Read the rest of Susan’s article to learn how other experts may be called upon for their expertise in the Integrated Team Mediation approach.

 

 

When Parents Argue in Front of their Children

Don Sinkov

Don Sinkov

A recent client had an issue regarding his wife’s elderly mother. They were looking for a place for her to live.

The husband had very graciously said:

“You know, it’s fine with me. She can come live with us. I know she’s your mom, and I’m sure you have very strong feelings for her and feel very close to her. So, it’s fine if she comes to live with us.”

Surprisingly the wife said, “Absolutely not. She’ll never live with me.”

Find out why by reading the rest of Don’s article.

Child Support Standards Act: The Basics

Clare Piro

Clare Piro

I remember when the Child Support Standards Act (“CSSA”) was adopted in New York in 1989. It was a radical departure from how child support had been determined in the past, and not all matrimonial attorneys welcomed it with open arms. There were many predictions of disastrous results, but the statute soon came to be accepted.

Read the rest of Clare’s article to learn how CSSA works, how income is calculated and more.

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